My obsession with lip balms started out simple. As a tween, I’d religiously apply a clear coat of Nivea chapstick every day in the winter. Then I stumbled upon a pack of soda pop and birthday cake-flavoured Lip Smackers at Claire’s. They weren’t as hydrating as Nivea, but there was no going back. I had my cake and ate it, too.
In Freudian psychoanalysis, the oral stage is the first 18 months of an infant’s life. If you’re overfed or underfed during this time, according to Freud, you’re likely to have an unconscious obsession with your mouth. While modern psychologists have thrown shade at his theories, I can’t help but wonder if my obsession with using lip balms is a manifestation of an oral fixation. Keeping my lips moisturised with an hourly swipe is a straight-up chronic addiction. At any given time, there’s a balm in my pocket and three others floating somewhere in my bag. My nightstand has at least two. My makeup pouch? Even more.
Whether it’s the consequence of a developmental stage or not, I’ve tested enough lip balms in my 20-something years to curate a definitive list of the yummiest, most nourishing, and longest-lasting ones out there. Below, the lip balm hall of fame:
